The illusion of rest
I’m lying on a sunlounger in a quiet corner of a remote French town, engaged in a conversation with the only person who won’t judge me — myself, and this experience underscores how phone addiction can ruin holidays, according to a study. We’ve reviewed the weather, debated the merits of a Polish novel I can’t quite get into, and rehashed the hundreds of unread emails taking up digital space in my inbox. It’s supposed to be a much-needed break, a holiday I’ve longed for all year, yet the only progress I’ve made is in spiraling further into anxiety. I chose to spend the first few days alone here, hoping solitude might ease my mind before friends arrive, but instead, my thoughts only seem to intensify. The more I try to relax, the more my brain searches for something — anything — to latch onto and amplify.
In today’s world, where smartphones feel like a second limb, turning off has become almost alien. According to recent research by Virgin Media O2, the average Briton will spend approximately four years and eight months of their lives using their phones unintentionally. What exactly are we doing for all those hours? Probably watching cat videos made by AI or scrolling through mundane posts. That’s the reality for many of us — not actively seeking knowledge or connection, but just passing time, distracted by our own devices. It’s a silent but steady erosion of our mental space.
A false escape
Even when we travel, the urge to stay tethered to our digital lives lingers. A survey by Flash Pack revealed that 88% of British travelers say they want to use their phones less during their holidays, but only 8% actually manage to succeed. I certainly fall into this group. Every time I try to disconnect, my brain concocts excuses to check my phone again. What if the world collapses and I need to inform my family? What if someone I love is in danger? These thoughts are irrational but deeply ingrained. They keep me from truly being present in the moment.
Psychotherapist Nino Sopromadze explains this struggle well: “We are in a constant state of psychological readiness. Our nervous system is at a heightened activation. Phones blur the line between work and rest, and our body doesn’t get a clear signal that it’s safe to relax.” The truth is, our phones are like a lifeline we feel we can’t let go of, even on vacation. This constant connection keeps our minds in overdrive, unable to transition into a state of peace.
The cost of not relaxing
The issue isn’t just about how much screen time we rack up. Even when we do manage to put our phones down, the mind often stays wired. I’ve locked mine in a drawer, yet my thoughts still race with worry — unread messages, old jokes, what people might be thinking of me. It’s a kind of mental noise that doesn’t switch off automatically. Lee Thompson from Flash Pack points out, “Holidays give us something we are not used to anymore: thinking time.” For most of us, the ability to sit in silence and let our brains wander has atrophied. We’re so used to constant stimulation that quiet time feels uncomfortable, even unnatural.
Sarah Hodges, Therapy Network Manager at Headspace, adds another key insight: “One of the biggest misconceptions about vacation is that we should feel relaxed the minute it begins.” That expectation is misleading, if not unrealistic. Our nervous systems don’t work like a light switch flipped on and off. We need time to shift out of “doing” mode into relaxation mode. It’s a process, not an instant transformation. Hodges’ point is clear: we need to give ourselves permission to transition slowly.
And that’s where the real difficulty comes in. According to Hodges and Thompson, it takes about three full days for the brain to genuinely transition from a state of performance to one of rest. A typical long weekend, with its limited time and packed agenda, simply doesn’t offer the mental space needed for that shift. Your brain needs time — not just to stop working, but to stop feeling the need to justify why it’s not working. And that, it seems, isn’t something even a sunny beach or scenic mountain range can guarantee on its own. The phone can’t help with that, no matter how many filters we apply to our photos before posting them.
